Crash!

Yesterday on my way home from work, I got rear-ended. I had to break quickly because another car cut me off. The car behind me was too close and slam! Don't worry I'm fine. The other car had to be towed off. Their front was smashed in, their airbags deployed, and their alarm was roaring. I can't even see any visible damage to my car. They must have rammed directly into my trailer hitch and it must have absorbed all the impact. Talking to my mom last night she said, "Now aren't you glad you drive that gas-guzzling SUV?" She had a point. I have been complaining about the fact that my 20-year-old self thought an SUV was cool and didn't think about anything like fuel-efficiency or environmental friendliness. I still don't exactly like my gas mileage, but yesterday made me realize that I should be grateful for what I have instead of complaining about what I don't. Yesterday the car I had been complaining about saved me a lot of problems.

What kind of Extraterrestrial has gotten a hold on my mother?

My mom just friended me on facebook. Now, don't get me wrong, if my mom is on facebook, I'm happy to be friends with her. It's just that I didn't even know she knew what facebook was. I mean it was not too long ago that I messaged her when I saw she was logged in to her gmail account and she had to go get one of my siblings to explain why I wasn't getting her message back (she didn't know she had to press enter). She has that one down now, but facebook? That just seems a little extreme. But mom, if you want to be on facebook, then go right a head. I am more than happy to be your friend.

Fear

This is my "desk" (or at least the old table I have all my paperwork piled on top of).

I think I need to clean it, what do you think? There are two major problems with tackling this project. The first one is one I always struggle with: I hate doing paperwork. Absolutely hate it. I'd rather clean the toilet, and that's saying something! The other problem is in something specific I have on my desk. Take a look. Can you guess what I am so afraid of? It is just a simple box:
I know it may surprise you, but that box absolutely terrifies me. I am so incredibly afraid of that box that I can't clean my desk because then I know I will have to face the box. What do you think could be in a box that would terrify me so? Tons of thank you cards. But, I'm not scared of the thank you cards. What scares me is the list that is tucked in with the thank you cards. It is a list of everyone I should have sent a thank you card to after my wedding. It is a very, very, long list. Full of people I love, people I know, and even some people I don't know, but each one was very gracious to me and deserves a loving, thoughtful note. Luckily, many of the names on the list are crossed out. I wrote tons of thank yous right after my wedding. I would work on a few at a time for months. But, several months after my wedding I got absolutely sick and tired of piles and piles of things in my house. Right before the wedding everything got moved into the house in a huge pile and nothing was put away. Then we got gifts. Tons of beautiful gifts, which also got piled. Eventually I just couldn't take it. I couldn't write thank you notes while my living room was too unorganized to eat dinner at our table or even put up our Christmas tree. So, I started writing fewer and fewer thank you notes and doing more and more cleaning and more tidying. Until one day I just stopped. My house is much better, but the list was never quite completed. Now it's been nearly 18 months since our wedding; a little late to send a thank you note, don't you think? I am so scared to look at that list and see the names of those people I never got to. Petrified. Guess my desk will be messy a little longer...

Isn't she sweet?

Well, after that last post, I do feel a little like a fifth grader who is picked on one day at school. That night, he accidentally lets slip what happened, and the next morning, his mother storms into the classroom and tells off the whole class, ensuring that he will be the laughing stock of the whole school, from now on. I do appreciate Tiffany trying to defend my good name, but even I have to admit that I am kind of a goofball, and I generally deserve most of the slander that is aimed at me.

On another note,Tiff would like it known that a new version of my website is up, so that she can brag to all her friends (that's you folk, the readers!) about it. So here it is.

http://clockworkangel.com

Enjoy!
-Adam

Change

Why are we humans so reluctant to allow each other to change? I sent an email today to someone that Adam knew growing up. I sent it because this person had expertise in an area and I had a question, but the exact reason I sent the email isn't my point. He was very kind in his reply, and I think in an effort to compliment me he made a few comments on how he couldn't believe Adam ended up with someone like me. Now, on the one hand I appreciate the fact that people seem to have a good opinion of me and think that I'm a worthwhile person. However, this is not the first time that someone has in all seriousness said something like this to me. A member of his own family has even made a similar comment before, and to tell you the truth I find it very frustrating. I didn't know Adam 10 years ago. I have heard wasn't the most agreeable teenager. The thing is, I really don't care too much about the person Adam was as a teenager. I didn't marry Adam the teenager. I married the 25 year old Adam. The Adam that I see every day is very kind and loving. He is working the hardest that he ever has in his entire life so that he will be qualified to get a good job to support our family. He is incredibly patient with me when I have anxiety and freak out about things (which people who don't live with me may not know I do). In fact, he is just incredibly patient. He isn't perfect, but he is doing his best for me and for our future family. That's the Adam I see every day. Why do some of the people who knew him 10 years ago refuse to see the Adam that is now, and insist on the one that was back then? Wouldn't they rather know the much improved version of this wonderful man?

Laid Off

The economy really is bad. Do you know how I know this? Adam got laid off yesterday along with like half of his little company. For us this isn't good, but we must admit that in many way we are the lucky ones. I am the major bread winner right now. Adam was only working 10 hours a week. Which did help our little student size budget. It really did. In fact we were only spending his student loan money for his school expenses and his health insurance. This made me very proud of us. Now, I guess we'll have to spend a small amount of that little loan. Not the end of the world, but I guess I have been humbled. It made me appreciate what Adam told me yesterday, "Who I really feel bad for were the guys who had been doing this full time for 20+ years. Screen-printing is all they know. How will they support their families?" And so mostly I am just grateful that it wasn't a devastating blow for us. Just a little reality check. As I listened to Adam yesterday as he offered the little prayer that we pray together every night, I was reminded why I married this guy. He wasn't worried about us but did pray for his co-workers. They are the ones that really need the blessings right about now...

Back to the Grind...

Well, the holidays are over, and I'm back in lab. I'm trying not to think about it so instead of doing the millions of things I really need to do at work, I'm going to procrastinate 10 more minutes and show you some photos of my time with my family at my parent's lake house in north western Maryland.

The first few days we were there the ground was bare. That was sad because this week is the only time in the whole year we have much chance at all of seeing snow. Lucky for us, we got a couple inches just before the New Year. My crazy brother (John) and sister (Rachel) decided that 12 am on Jan 1st was the best time to jump in the freezing cold lake (they literally had to break a think layer of ice to do it), and make a snow angel before getting back in the hot tub. I watched, but was not even close to participating....

Adam and I did enjoy the snow in our own way though. It's just that we aren't insane!